Terrible Telly and his Monstrous Worrying

Most Sesame fans know Telly.  He is the puppet that worries all the time.  Kind of a late-comer to the Street, he arrived after many of the other monsters.  Originally, he was intended to be a monster that was obsessed with watching television (that's why he's named that!)

Click to view... Viewing.

Once he had seen enough bothersome TV for anyone's lifetime, he apparently made the decision to pull the plug and roam around Sesame Street bothering people in his own way.  He quickly solidified himself as the Street's most annoying resident, and is still a top contender for that ranking to this day.  (an obviously worse puppet eventually came along, but since we are not at all fond of that guy, we won't talk about him here.)

What is Telly's problem?  Why can't he relax?  I know he watched a LOT of TV, presumably even before he moved onto the Street.  Did he witness a whole bunch of disturbing war footage or something?  Did the Watergate scandal grievously upset him?


Here is a list of things that I bet he has actively worried about:

"Does Oscar hate me?"

"Are Bob and Linda ever gonna get married?"

"Has Cookie Monster put on an unhealthy amount of weight?"

"What if Hooper's Store goes out of business?"

"Does the Count care at ALL about the alphabet?"

"What if a Twiddlebug gets stepped on?"

"What if Super Grover ever crash-lands in the wrong place?"

"Where does Big Bird go to the bathroom?"

"Does Poco Loco bite?"

"Who takes care of that Farley kid after school?"

"What if the Two-Headed Monster REALLY has a domestic?"

"Herbert Birdsfoot sure doesn't leave the house much."

"How come Maria always excuses herself immediately after eating?"

"I overhear Ernie and Bert having fights ALL THE TIME.  Is something actually wrong?"

"Why isn't Roosevelt Franklin on the show anymore?"

"Is Sherlock Hemlock keeping an eye on ME?"

Click to view... Bert likes television TOO.

Sundays on the Street

Sundays have a very distinctive feel, to humans and puppets alike.  Did anybody on Sesame Street go to CHURCH?  If so, what denomination?  Forgetful Jones would make a really bad Catholic.  "What sins did you commit lately?"  "I don't know, I FORGOT!"

(Would a priest buy that?)


Who on the Street is the biggest sports fan?  It's difficult to picture Bob inviting David over to watch "the big game."  Would they drink beers together?  Even ONE?  I always imagined Sesame parties featuring non-alcoholic "punch."  You would need a lot of people to finish off a whole bowl of "punch," though.  Not just two.

What did everybody do on a Sunday?  The characters on the Street tended to function as one really big, happy family.  Could they all have a nice big Sunday family dinner together, or would it just be too many people to fit inside Gordon and Susan's apartment?

(Cause you know it would be the two of them hosting it.)

Otherwise, what?  Big pot luck at Big Bird's place?  He at least had a lot of space.  What would people bring?  Cookie Monster would bring nothing, obviously.  He wouldn't have the willpower to get out of the house without eating his own dish all by himself.  Maria would bring taco dip.  Amazing Mumford would bring peanut butter sandwiches.  Oscar the Grouch would bring something horrific that no one else would want to LOOK at, much less consume.

Back to church, IS there one anywhere NEAR Sesame Street?  If so, I wonder where it's located.  and also who goes.  and also what they pray about.  Telly was always kind of a massive worrier.

If they do go to church, I bet there's lots of singing.

Click to view... Sing.

Don't tug on Super Grover's cape

He might fall down.

Super Grover is of course Sesame Street's resident superhero.  Grover has always had a lot of "day jobs" (waiter, elevator operator, etc.), but like a lot of people that work paycheck to paycheck, he wants more in life.  He wants to make a difference.

Click to view... Onto our story.

So of course what always happens is that the little kids Super Grover is trying to help wind up figuring things out for themselves, and Super Grover just kind of gets in the way.  He is inept as a superhero, just like at his other jobs.  Thing is, in spite of his shortcomings, he actually DOES possess some minimal superhero powers!  For example, Super Grover can FLY.

He can't fly very WELL, but still.  How did he learn to do that?  Even Big Bird can't fly.  Super Grover also has some degree of "super strength."  He can carry a phone booth!  It's not at all easy for him, he clearly struggles, but he still can DO it.  Carrying a phone booth is no small feat.

So I gotta ask, does regular Grover have these powers too?  Does he need to be actively wearing the cape or the helmet or something in order to use them?  If so, why not just wear them all the time?  Imagine Super Grover being strong enough to beat Herry Monster at arm wrestling, just barely.  Imagine him talking to Big Bird and then saying "Well okay Birdie, I gotta go!" and then he takes off and flies away.  Big Bird would be left standing there, all envious.

Most superheroes adopt the "secret identity" system to hide from some sort of arch-nemesis.  Super Grover did not have one of those.  Regular Grover did.

a super-villain version of Fat Blue Johnson would be the perfect foil for Super Grover.  "Fat Bluthor" or something like that.  What would his goal be, though?  Super Grover never actually helps anybody, so there would be nothing for Fat Bluthor to stop him from doing.  Maybe he could just keep showing up at the scene to taunt Super Grover for the sake of revenge.  "Ha!  You didn't help those kids at ALL!  Now take off that costume and get me a sandwich."

Or else just steal Super Grover's helmet and run away.

Click to view... Super Grover and an exit.

Maria

The human characters on Sesame Street have always been strong and stable.  They serve as a nice surrogate family for any young (or old!) viewer watching at home.  Gordon and Susan are the wise and dependable parents.  Bob is everybody's favorite uncle.  Mr. Hooper is your grandpa.  Luis is the neighbor you can count on to fix your bike.

and who doesn't like the idea of having a cool big sister?  That's why we were given Maria.

Maria is smart, caring, and a good listener.  She would help you figure out your math homework as quickly as she would defend you from the bullying of Oscar the Grouch.  The toughest, AND prettiest, girl on the Street.  Who could possibly not love her?  Needless to say, Sesame's cool big sister did not remain single for very long.

The first boyfriend was David.  Not sure how serious their relationship ever got.  They were very young, and also living on Sesame Street.  You don't get too much intimacy on Sesame Street.  Gordon and Susan were probably the only residents that had a door with a functional lock.  Everybody else just barged into whatever place they felt like at any time and started wandering around.  How did Big Bird sleep at night with no protection other than that huge, loose-swinging door?  No privacy at all.  How could the Twiddlebugs take showers with a super-gigantic Ernie able to loom above their home at will?

Click to view... Monster in the middle.

David eventually had to go, and then as most people know Maria ended up dating and eventually MARRYING Luis.  She had been an apprentice at his Fix-It Shop for years, even while dating David, who spent most of HIS work-time sweeping up at Hooper's Store.  I'm guessing that David was never too cool with that whole picture.  Sweeping up the store all mad at night, muttering to himself, "Yeah you sure fixed it, Luis.  You REALLY fixed it..."

Click to view... Third wheel.

Tough to understand why a woman loves a man.  Even tougher to understand why Maria would dress up as Charlie Chaplin sometimes.  Do most little kids even know who Charlie Chaplin IS?  If not, that isn't a tribute, it's stealing.  Isn't it?

Well ISN'T it?

Click to view... "CALM DOWN"

Barkley is never on a leash

He just roams around free all over the Sesame neighborhood.  and I guess that's mostly fine, he's very friendly.  But what if someone on the Street IS afraid of dogs?  Secretly terrified that this huge dog is running around loose all the time, but doesn't want to ruin it for everybody else?

Click to view... Barkley's dream.

Does Oscar like dogs?  Doesn't seem like he would, that guy hates just about everything.  a lot of times dogs will bark at someone that they can't sniff.  Oscar sits way up in his garbage can, Barkley can't get to him.  So what would a typical exchange between the two be like?

Barkley: WOOF!

Oscar: Get outta here, ya fleabag!

*Barkley jumps up and hits Oscar's can with his paws*

Oscar: SCRAM!


Barkley's only chance to nab him would be one of those times where Oscar would come down from his perch and walk around with the can still around him and his feet sticking out the bottom.  Oscar would have to be really careful in that situation.  Imagine him poking his head out of the can to peek around corners and such.

"Barkley?"

If the dog DID happen to come around, no way was Oscar outrunning him.  Maybe that's why he hired Bruno.

Who owns Barkley?  Linda does.

She needed some companionship (Bob would not move in) and got some in the form of what would eventually become the Street's communal pet, of sorts.  But at nighttime Barkley sleeps at Linda's place.  I bet he is a bed hog.  and I guess it's good that Barkley isn't one of those dogs that bothers the whole neighborhood by making noise all the time.  Cause if he was, how would she know?

It was a rare instance, but Oscar actually did used to walk around without his can sometimes.  He seemed so naked, in retrospect.  It doesn't really make sense to feel that way because the monsters and animals didn't wear clothes either.  Yet there's just something so unsettling about a naked Grouch.

Click to view... a visit from naked Oscar.

The angst of Don Music

Don Music is known for being Sesame Street's resident music composer.  He is also known for banging his head on the keyboard.

Mr. Music had to go away for awhile to resolve his self-abuse issues.  Children were apparently imitating him at home with injurious results.  I haven't watched Sesame Street in a long time, but as far as I know he successfully rehabilitated himself and was eventually welcomed back.

The routine is usually the same.  Kermit the Frog (in full journalism mode) will show up to intrude upon Don Music during the creative process.  Mr. Music is clearly struggling to finish his piece.  Kermit then begins suggesting any words that rhyme, even if they completely do not fit the context.  The whole piece winds up getting re-written, and they both seem happy with it.

Click to view... "THERE'S your PROBLEM."

Don Music is then delusional enough to believe that he has composed something "great," whereas Kermit never seemed to care in the first place.  Song lyrics are not good just because they RHYME.  Try telling that to a frog, though.

Most music composers know how to play more than one instrument.  While I only ever remember seeing Don Music play the piano, I assume that he knew how to play other things as well.  Did his writer's block result in the same escalated level of frustration when he was trying to play the clarinet?  Imagine him breaking one over his knee.  I'm sure plenty of guitars got smashed.  He should have just played the drums whenever he felt angry.  Drums are MEANT to be hit.  a composer can really vent.

Don Music's most usual confidant was his "friend" Bill, who appears to actually just be a bust of William Shakespeare.

So evidently he DID have a passion for the English language and its inventive usage.  What would Shakespeare himself think of Don and Kermit's co-creations?  I guess it's good that Bill had no other choice than to keep his mouth shut.


Click to view... "Why would anybody call anything macaroni except macaroni?"

Mr. Snuffleupagus proves to exist

He WAS real AFTER all.

Big Bird and Snuffy seemed to have a very natural friendship.  I wonder if it was, at least in part, based on physical size.  Most people on the Street were much smaller than them.  There were only a couple of exceptions.  Bruno was pretty big.  They should have invited him to hang out in the nest area with them.

The main thing with Mr. Snuffleupagus was that for years, Big Bird could not convince anybody that he actually existed.  Then finally the cruel mind torture was put to an end, and Snuffy was introduced to the rest of the Sesame Street cast.  Thank goodness their first exposure to him was the modern Snuffy.  The original was fairly horrific-looking.

Click to view... Rafael is skeptical.

It was a happy conclusion for all involved.  But it got me thinking, what about those that WEREN'T involved?  Did anybody else on the Street have some kind of incredible claim or story that they found impossible to ever prove?

What if Sherlock Hemlock uncovered the clues leading to a potential conviction in a decades-old murder case?

What if the Count said that he actually managed to count to "infinity" once, but there were no witnesses?

What if Linda claimed that she somehow once HEARD something?

Click to view... Bert's body is found.