Christmas Eve on Sesame Street

The weirdest thing was that Bert procrastinated.  He ain't usually like that.

Click to view... (I could not find the Christmas clip itself, but this is still really good.)

Bert seems like a person that would have all of Ernie's rubber ducks in a row.  I mean what, THOSE two couldn't think of Christmas presents for each other?

Next question, are birds able to freeze to death?  I guess nobody really knows, including "him."

(santa)

The best part of this was obviously the children.  They are both beloved and hilarious.

Click to view... "and THERE you have it."

So what else?  OH YEAH!  Why was Bob not at all surprised to find his home full of people when it was not any official kind of surprise party? Had he just learned to return to his house every day and not care who was hanging out?

Click to view... all through the year.

Death of Mr. Hooper

Probably the most noteworthy scene in the history of Sesame Street featured the human adult characters attempting to explain to the child-like Big Bird that Mr. Hooper was gone forever and never coming back.

They chose to air this episode on Thanksgiving Day of 1983.  I imagine that the reasoning must have been that children would be home from school that day with their parents.  Personally, I missed it.  I knew that he had died because my mother read it in the newspaper and told us.  But on THANKSGIVING DAY itself we were sort of doing other stuff.  So I missed the actual broadcast.

Mr. Hooper was able to tolerate Big Bird.  He could help Ernie and Bert get along.  He could give Cookie Monster things to eat.  He could give the Count things to count.  He was smart enough to help Sherlock Hemlock solve crimes, and charitable enough to give David a job.  He probably overpriced expired food on purpose just to give Oscar a reason to complain.  (Oscar enjoyed complaining.)  He was a friend to Bob and an enemy of Captain Vegetable.

When he died, EVERYONE was sad.

Click to view... Just because.

The previously unaddressed

As we wind this project down I apologize for not being able to get around to everybody.  Here are some important afterthoughts.

#1 David

Maria's original boyfriend that was ultimately supplanted by Luis, but the two of them seemingly remained friends, at least for awhile.  He originally was studying to be a lawyer, but wound up inheriting ownership of Mr. Hooper's Store instead.  David eventually had to leave town to go live on a farm, because that's where everybody goes when they leave town.

I wonder what the breakup was like?

Maria: I thought you were going to be a lawyer!

David: I was, but making ice cream sodas at the Store has become my PASSION.

Maria: Well I don't like this at ALL.

David: I don't need a law degree, I'm providing candy and soda!  What's more important?  I mean ask yourself, which is REALLY more important?

Maria: Well good luck to you, I guess.  I hope we can still be friends.

David: We can.  We can ALWAYS be friends.

Maria: I'd like that.

David: Me too.  That'll be 75 cents for the soda, by the way.

Oscar the Grouch: Heh heh heh.


#2 Olivia

Gordon's younger sister who was somewhat unrealistically full-time employed as a photographer.  I guess ballerina would have been too ridiculous.  Olivia was not known for much else besides liking to sing.  Most other residents of the Street liked to sing, too.  I guess it was like how they also all liked to count, but "The Count" REALLY liked to count.  Anyway, she lived there for 12 years and never did much.

Click to view... It Feels Good When You Sing a Song


#3 Two-Headed Monster

I gotta say that other than the Little Red Menace himself (you know who I mean), the right half of the Two-Headed Monster (our right, their left) may very well be the Street's most annoying resident ever.  and he has someone else physically ATTACHED to him.  Imagine THAT guy's annoyance threshold.

"YOU HAVE GO BATHROOM AGAIN?  WE JUST START WATCHING TV."

#4 Willy the Hot Dog Guy

Not too many people remember Willy, but he pushed a hot dog cart up and down Sesame Street for years.  I don't recall too many people eating the hot dogs.

David: Hey Maria, how about lunch?

Maria: Oh that would be wonderful!

David: I just saw Willy at the corner with his hot dog cart.

Maria: ...oh.

David: You have money, right?


Click to view... Remembering.

Education

As much as we have all been charmed by the residents of the Street, they aren't there just to be our TV friends.  They are there to TEACH!

Mostly letters, numbers, People In Your Neighborhood, and what happens on a farm.  Sometimes though, now and then, there would be these scenes that were very entertaining, but I'm not sure what exact lesson we were supposed to learn from them.

First example:

Click to view... The funniest thing she EVER saw.

What is this supposed to teach children?  Don't try to dump confetti on people or it could happen to you too?  I GUESS there's a lesson to be learned there, but it seems a bit more like something that Jesus should be teaching as opposed to Harvey Kneeslapper.

(Sorry Harvey but it's true.)

Ernie and Bert have always been the show's most entertaining tandem, and often good at teaching essential life points as well, but this one stretches it a bit too far:

Click to view... Something is not right.

It IS very necessary for children to know and understand what the parts of the face are. However, pulling off your roommate's nose to put it on your unfinished sculpture sends kind-of a contradictory message.  At least ONE kid in the viewing audience had to be like "Whoa, can that HAPPEN?"  (No way would Ernie realistically be able to create a sculpture like that either.)

and now here is one of the CUTEST things ever, but what exactly is it meant to teach?

Click to view... No cookie for the Monster.

"Babies are adorable and Cookie Monster really likes cookies" I guess.

a fine lesson.

Click to view... learn something.

a-la peanut butter sandwich!

I have a difficult time picturing the Amazing Mumford being content with his life.  He clearly craved the entertainment spotlight, but wasn't exactly Guy Smiley.  Did he have a day job?  His own apartment?  Grover should have been his roommate.

Click to view... Amazing Mumford does not have much time.

There is a person in every home, school, or workplace that is always running up to harass someone out of boredom.  Sesame Street had Grover.  When it wasn't "Hey Froggy baby!" it was Super Grover literally crashing out of the sky in an attempt to mediate a household argument.  Did he ever get involved with Ernie and Bert when they were fighting in the middle of the night?

He also apparently liked to interfere with the business of magicians, I guess when it was his day off from the restaurant.

Click to view... Rabbit out of a hat.

Was Grover ever USEFUL?

"Hey Count, let me help you count."

"Hey Forgetful Jones, I'll help you try to remember where you left your horse."

"Luis, do you need help fixing that typewriter?  It's been in your window forever."


What was Amazing Mumford's deal?  His tricks seemed to kind-of work, but isn't magic really just illusion?  Were his magic powers ACTUAL?  I sure hope not.  The thought of that is kind of scary.  Imagine if he was having a bad day and decided to walk around the Street making trouble for everybody.  Oscar is suddenly sealed in his can and can't get out.  Big Bird's nest is on fire, except not really.  It just looks like it is, and everyone is momentarily terrified for no good reason.  Susan is fooled by a joke pregnancy test.

Click to view: Long and short.

Favorite songs

All fans of the Street have their favorite characters, moments, and especially SONGS.  Most Sesame Street songs are composed by the resident songwriting guild.

But then there are these other songs that everybody loves, and no one is quite sure where they came from.  Ladybug Picnic, for example.

Click to view... Everybody's favorite.

That's a really good song, and nobody really ever got any credit for it.  Doesn't anybody else WORRY about these things?
 

Well, besides you, Bert.

 

Here's another good one.  Kind of gross, though.

Click to view... B is for Bubble.

I remember that there were Sesame Street music albums with Cookie Monster singing disco music and Oscar the Grouch singing about loving trash.  Is it possible to obtain recordings of the legitimately good SONGS, though?

Some really stellar ones:

Click to view... Two Little Dolls.

Click to view... We All Sing the Same Song

Click to view... It's a Rainy Day

No wonder Don Music was under so much pressure.  His songs were bad.

Sorry Don, but it's true.


Click to view... a much better song.

Why IS Big Bird so big?

He doesn't fit anywhere, besides in his super-huge nest.  How did he build that thing?  There's very few trees on the Street, and he also doesn't fly.

Big Bird has the mind of a child, but the body of an 8-foot-tall humanoid vaguely resembling a bird.  He also does not have a name.  Not a proper one, at least.  He just gets called what he is, kind of like Cookie Monster, whereas puppets like Oscar and Grover get NAME-type names.  Kermit is an animal too, but he gets to be "Kermit THE Frog."  What's the difference?  The human characters should have quibbled over what to name Big Bird, like happened with Barkley/Woof Woof.

"Name him BIRDEY!"

"NO!  Name him Walkie the Bird."

At least part of the time, Big Bird must have been like "The dog gets TWO names and I don't even get ONE?  Maybe I'll go talk to Oscar, he's always naming people."


Big Bird was friends with people and puppets of all sizes, but his BEST friend was Mr. Snuffleupagus, who was also enormously huge.  Not only did Mr. Snuffleupagus get to have a NAME, but also the distinction of being called "Mr."  So evidently he is a fellow of some dignified importance, although doesn't he still live with his mommy?  At any rate, the original versions of both of them were fairly nightmarish.

Big Bird has a nice home for himself but doesn't seem to need too many furnishings.  Just his nest and a bunch of cool-looking barrels.  Does he play with them?  Throw them around like animals in the zoo?  Probably not.  Big Bird never gets violent.  and good thing!  Imagine if Oscar picked on him one too many times.  Big Bird could probably really ring his neck, if he could catch him.  Oscar was quick about ducking down into his can, and no way was Big Bird following him.  Again, he'd never fit.

Click to view... cheap.

Terrible Telly and his Monstrous Worrying

Most Sesame fans know Telly.  He is the puppet that worries all the time.  Kind of a late-comer to the Street, he arrived after many of the other monsters.  Originally, he was intended to be a monster that was obsessed with watching television (that's why he's named that!)

Click to view... Viewing.

Once he had seen enough bothersome TV for anyone's lifetime, he apparently made the decision to pull the plug and roam around Sesame Street bothering people in his own way.  He quickly solidified himself as the Street's most annoying resident, and is still a top contender for that ranking to this day.  (an obviously worse puppet eventually came along, but since we are not at all fond of that guy, we won't talk about him here.)

What is Telly's problem?  Why can't he relax?  I know he watched a LOT of TV, presumably even before he moved onto the Street.  Did he witness a whole bunch of disturbing war footage or something?  Did the Watergate scandal grievously upset him?


Here is a list of things that I bet he has actively worried about:

"Does Oscar hate me?"

"Are Bob and Linda ever gonna get married?"

"Has Cookie Monster put on an unhealthy amount of weight?"

"What if Hooper's Store goes out of business?"

"Does the Count care at ALL about the alphabet?"

"What if a Twiddlebug gets stepped on?"

"What if Super Grover ever crash-lands in the wrong place?"

"Where does Big Bird go to the bathroom?"

"Does Poco Loco bite?"

"Who takes care of that Farley kid after school?"

"What if the Two-Headed Monster REALLY has a domestic?"

"Herbert Birdsfoot sure doesn't leave the house much."

"How come Maria always excuses herself immediately after eating?"

"I overhear Ernie and Bert having fights ALL THE TIME.  Is something actually wrong?"

"Why isn't Roosevelt Franklin on the show anymore?"

"Is Sherlock Hemlock keeping an eye on ME?"

Click to view... Bert likes television TOO.

Sundays on the Street

Sundays have a very distinctive feel, to humans and puppets alike.  Did anybody on Sesame Street go to CHURCH?  If so, what denomination?  Forgetful Jones would make a really bad Catholic.  "What sins did you commit lately?"  "I don't know, I FORGOT!"

(Would a priest buy that?)


Who on the Street is the biggest sports fan?  It's difficult to picture Bob inviting David over to watch "the big game."  Would they drink beers together?  Even ONE?  I always imagined Sesame parties featuring non-alcoholic "punch."  You would need a lot of people to finish off a whole bowl of "punch," though.  Not just two.

What did everybody do on a Sunday?  The characters on the Street tended to function as one really big, happy family.  Could they all have a nice big Sunday family dinner together, or would it just be too many people to fit inside Gordon and Susan's apartment?

(Cause you know it would be the two of them hosting it.)

Otherwise, what?  Big pot luck at Big Bird's place?  He at least had a lot of space.  What would people bring?  Cookie Monster would bring nothing, obviously.  He wouldn't have the willpower to get out of the house without eating his own dish all by himself.  Maria would bring taco dip.  Amazing Mumford would bring peanut butter sandwiches.  Oscar the Grouch would bring something horrific that no one else would want to LOOK at, much less consume.

Back to church, IS there one anywhere NEAR Sesame Street?  If so, I wonder where it's located.  and also who goes.  and also what they pray about.  Telly was always kind of a massive worrier.

If they do go to church, I bet there's lots of singing.

Click to view... Sing.

Don't tug on Super Grover's cape

He might fall down.

Super Grover is of course Sesame Street's resident superhero.  Grover has always had a lot of "day jobs" (waiter, elevator operator, etc.), but like a lot of people that work paycheck to paycheck, he wants more in life.  He wants to make a difference.

Click to view... Onto our story.

So of course what always happens is that the little kids Super Grover is trying to help wind up figuring things out for themselves, and Super Grover just kind of gets in the way.  He is inept as a superhero, just like at his other jobs.  Thing is, in spite of his shortcomings, he actually DOES possess some minimal superhero powers!  For example, Super Grover can FLY.

He can't fly very WELL, but still.  How did he learn to do that?  Even Big Bird can't fly.  Super Grover also has some degree of "super strength."  He can carry a phone booth!  It's not at all easy for him, he clearly struggles, but he still can DO it.  Carrying a phone booth is no small feat.

So I gotta ask, does regular Grover have these powers too?  Does he need to be actively wearing the cape or the helmet or something in order to use them?  If so, why not just wear them all the time?  Imagine Super Grover being strong enough to beat Herry Monster at arm wrestling, just barely.  Imagine him talking to Big Bird and then saying "Well okay Birdie, I gotta go!" and then he takes off and flies away.  Big Bird would be left standing there, all envious.

Most superheroes adopt the "secret identity" system to hide from some sort of arch-nemesis.  Super Grover did not have one of those.  Regular Grover did.

a super-villain version of Fat Blue Johnson would be the perfect foil for Super Grover.  "Fat Bluthor" or something like that.  What would his goal be, though?  Super Grover never actually helps anybody, so there would be nothing for Fat Bluthor to stop him from doing.  Maybe he could just keep showing up at the scene to taunt Super Grover for the sake of revenge.  "Ha!  You didn't help those kids at ALL!  Now take off that costume and get me a sandwich."

Or else just steal Super Grover's helmet and run away.

Click to view... Super Grover and an exit.

Maria

The human characters on Sesame Street have always been strong and stable.  They serve as a nice surrogate family for any young (or old!) viewer watching at home.  Gordon and Susan are the wise and dependable parents.  Bob is everybody's favorite uncle.  Mr. Hooper is your grandpa.  Luis is the neighbor you can count on to fix your bike.

and who doesn't like the idea of having a cool big sister?  That's why we were given Maria.

Maria is smart, caring, and a good listener.  She would help you figure out your math homework as quickly as she would defend you from the bullying of Oscar the Grouch.  The toughest, AND prettiest, girl on the Street.  Who could possibly not love her?  Needless to say, Sesame's cool big sister did not remain single for very long.

The first boyfriend was David.  Not sure how serious their relationship ever got.  They were very young, and also living on Sesame Street.  You don't get too much intimacy on Sesame Street.  Gordon and Susan were probably the only residents that had a door with a functional lock.  Everybody else just barged into whatever place they felt like at any time and started wandering around.  How did Big Bird sleep at night with no protection other than that huge, loose-swinging door?  No privacy at all.  How could the Twiddlebugs take showers with a super-gigantic Ernie able to loom above their home at will?

Click to view... Monster in the middle.

David eventually had to go, and then as most people know Maria ended up dating and eventually MARRYING Luis.  She had been an apprentice at his Fix-It Shop for years, even while dating David, who spent most of HIS work-time sweeping up at Hooper's Store.  I'm guessing that David was never too cool with that whole picture.  Sweeping up the store all mad at night, muttering to himself, "Yeah you sure fixed it, Luis.  You REALLY fixed it..."

Click to view... Third wheel.

Tough to understand why a woman loves a man.  Even tougher to understand why Maria would dress up as Charlie Chaplin sometimes.  Do most little kids even know who Charlie Chaplin IS?  If not, that isn't a tribute, it's stealing.  Isn't it?

Well ISN'T it?

Click to view... "CALM DOWN"

Barkley is never on a leash

He just roams around free all over the Sesame neighborhood.  and I guess that's mostly fine, he's very friendly.  But what if someone on the Street IS afraid of dogs?  Secretly terrified that this huge dog is running around loose all the time, but doesn't want to ruin it for everybody else?

Click to view... Barkley's dream.

Does Oscar like dogs?  Doesn't seem like he would, that guy hates just about everything.  a lot of times dogs will bark at someone that they can't sniff.  Oscar sits way up in his garbage can, Barkley can't get to him.  So what would a typical exchange between the two be like?

Barkley: WOOF!

Oscar: Get outta here, ya fleabag!

*Barkley jumps up and hits Oscar's can with his paws*

Oscar: SCRAM!


Barkley's only chance to nab him would be one of those times where Oscar would come down from his perch and walk around with the can still around him and his feet sticking out the bottom.  Oscar would have to be really careful in that situation.  Imagine him poking his head out of the can to peek around corners and such.

"Barkley?"

If the dog DID happen to come around, no way was Oscar outrunning him.  Maybe that's why he hired Bruno.

Who owns Barkley?  Linda does.

She needed some companionship (Bob would not move in) and got some in the form of what would eventually become the Street's communal pet, of sorts.  But at nighttime Barkley sleeps at Linda's place.  I bet he is a bed hog.  and I guess it's good that Barkley isn't one of those dogs that bothers the whole neighborhood by making noise all the time.  Cause if he was, how would she know?

It was a rare instance, but Oscar actually did used to walk around without his can sometimes.  He seemed so naked, in retrospect.  It doesn't really make sense to feel that way because the monsters and animals didn't wear clothes either.  Yet there's just something so unsettling about a naked Grouch.

Click to view... a visit from naked Oscar.

The angst of Don Music

Don Music is known for being Sesame Street's resident music composer.  He is also known for banging his head on the keyboard.

Mr. Music had to go away for awhile to resolve his self-abuse issues.  Children were apparently imitating him at home with injurious results.  I haven't watched Sesame Street in a long time, but as far as I know he successfully rehabilitated himself and was eventually welcomed back.

The routine is usually the same.  Kermit the Frog (in full journalism mode) will show up to intrude upon Don Music during the creative process.  Mr. Music is clearly struggling to finish his piece.  Kermit then begins suggesting any words that rhyme, even if they completely do not fit the context.  The whole piece winds up getting re-written, and they both seem happy with it.

Click to view... "THERE'S your PROBLEM."

Don Music is then delusional enough to believe that he has composed something "great," whereas Kermit never seemed to care in the first place.  Song lyrics are not good just because they RHYME.  Try telling that to a frog, though.

Most music composers know how to play more than one instrument.  While I only ever remember seeing Don Music play the piano, I assume that he knew how to play other things as well.  Did his writer's block result in the same escalated level of frustration when he was trying to play the clarinet?  Imagine him breaking one over his knee.  I'm sure plenty of guitars got smashed.  He should have just played the drums whenever he felt angry.  Drums are MEANT to be hit.  a composer can really vent.

Don Music's most usual confidant was his "friend" Bill, who appears to actually just be a bust of William Shakespeare.

So evidently he DID have a passion for the English language and its inventive usage.  What would Shakespeare himself think of Don and Kermit's co-creations?  I guess it's good that Bill had no other choice than to keep his mouth shut.


Click to view... "Why would anybody call anything macaroni except macaroni?"

Mr. Snuffleupagus proves to exist

He WAS real AFTER all.

Big Bird and Snuffy seemed to have a very natural friendship.  I wonder if it was, at least in part, based on physical size.  Most people on the Street were much smaller than them.  There were only a couple of exceptions.  Bruno was pretty big.  They should have invited him to hang out in the nest area with them.

The main thing with Mr. Snuffleupagus was that for years, Big Bird could not convince anybody that he actually existed.  Then finally the cruel mind torture was put to an end, and Snuffy was introduced to the rest of the Sesame Street cast.  Thank goodness their first exposure to him was the modern Snuffy.  The original was fairly horrific-looking.

Click to view... Rafael is skeptical.

It was a happy conclusion for all involved.  But it got me thinking, what about those that WEREN'T involved?  Did anybody else on the Street have some kind of incredible claim or story that they found impossible to ever prove?

What if Sherlock Hemlock uncovered the clues leading to a potential conviction in a decades-old murder case?

What if the Count said that he actually managed to count to "infinity" once, but there were no witnesses?

What if Linda claimed that she somehow once HEARD something?

Click to view... Bert's body is found.

Roosevelt Franklin

One of the most prominent characters featured in the early years of the Street was the resident smart guy, Roosevelt Franklin.

Roosevelt was not your typical know-it-all.  He had a massive ego (he named the school after himself!) but was still very well-liked.  Roosevelt's favorite thing was to take front stage in the classroom while the teacher was absent and start teaching the class on his own.

Click to view... Smart Tina not so smart.

Where WAS the real teacher?  He or she was never seen.  Hiding in the teacher's lounge with Mr. Snuffleupagus, perhaps.


It all worked out because as much as Roosevelt liked teaching, the other kids in the class were just as eager to learn.

No one is sure what happened to Roosevelt and the rest of the gang in the long run, as the classroom skits were eventually phased out.  Hopefully they all lived up to their academic potential and grew up to become doctors.  Imagine Hardhead Henry Harris as a pediatrician.

When not in school, Roosevelt Franklin spent most of his time going over "lessons" with his mother.  She seemed to find him quite exasperating, but he never really did anything wrong.  He sure was animated, though.  Like too much sugar or something.

Click to view... Roosevelt Franklin KNOWS his alphabet.

All of these characters were clearly intended to be African-American.  Except they are puppets, and the Sesame puppets do not really belong to any "race."  They can be any of the colors of the rainbow.  Bert is yellow, but he is not Asian.  Suzette from Roosevelt's classroom is the same color as Kermit the Frog.  Which is a good example, actually.  Kermit is a frog, but "frog" is not a race.  Grover has blue fur, but is he supposed to be "white?"  It's impossible to say.

So there was obvious confusion in regards to Roosevelt and his friends.  If they were supposed to be "black" puppets, what exactly made them so?  Language?  Behavior?  No explanation was ever provided, and the characters were eventually eliminated.  I don't see why they couldn't have just been integrated with the rest of the puppets.  What difference would it make?  Puppets should be allowed to speak and behave however they want.  They don't have ethnic backgrounds.  They only have gender.

Click to view... Baaad news.